Hey Jude

"God has the power to show you who God is."

That's a quote from Diary of a Mad Black Woman. (Which is a great movie btw, if you haven't seen it, you should!). I think it's another way of saying watch yourself, because if you don't, life has a way of reminding you who you are.

So right now, I'm trying to figure out what life's trying to tell me. It seems like it keeps knockin' me... kickin' me while I'm down... I'm trying to decide how I'm supposed to interpret it, and what I did wrong. And if I haven't done anything wrong, maybe I'm just not doing something right. If I'm going to believe that things happen for a reason, it would be nice to, at least, be able to figure that reason out.

It seems like, for the last few months, my life has taken one financially detrimental turn after another... With all this stuff with my millennium scholarship gone awry, my hours at work basically getting massacred, all on top of a vacation that, when I planned it, I could afford but now it's not looking so good... It makes me wonder. I'm trying to find a positive light in this so that at least I can say I learned something...

Maybe life is trying to teach me something about control. And it's a lesson everyone can gain some insight from. You can't control everything that happens to you. And while maybe there are some better choices to be made, sometimes things just happen, and we have to learn to live with that.

I'm the kind of person who gets freaked out on the Ferris wheel because of the way it swings... It's not secured to anything and my feet are really far from the ground... I feel unstable, and that is the scariest feeling in the world for me... Maybe this is life's way of telling me to get over it... Everything in life is unstable. Your world can change in an instant, without warning, and sometimes the change is permanent.

I guess that's how I should look at it. The tests I'm facing are conquerable, and even if I take some really tough hits, and even if I come out of it a little worse for ware, I know there's a way out somewhere. I just need to get my priorities in order, and stay focused. That's gonna be one of the hardest parts for me, I think... Balancing the things I can't do anything about, and keeping the things I CAN do something about foremost in my mind.

Deep breath Malia... You got this.



Hey Jude don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

Hey Jude don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better

And any time you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder

- Hey Jude, The Beatles