As of this past Saturday, July 10th, we are officially packing up our current apartment to move a new one. Of course... Packing entails going through the stuff we've accumulated over the past year and, in some cases, the stuff we've accumulated over our two lifetimes. As I'm going through everything, including at least one box I never unpacked from our LAST move, I feel myself overcome with a sense of bittersweetness and even a little bit of homesickness.
As I unpack to repack this one box that's been sitting in my hallway for over 11 months, I relive memories that have been burried in the dusty corridors of the back of my head. Little trinkets and things that decorated a graduation cake long-consumed have collected quite a film of dirt on them (I am in the middle of desert after all) and would probably serve a better cause either in a trash or in a yard sale. But for some reason, I can't make myself part with them.
How is it that it's been a year since I graduated? How did I let that happen? How did I let all the events between then and now happen? How is it that all the fun and innocence and the high-spirited carefree moments seem so far away? Why does it feel like it all happened ages ago? And why can't I go back?
The world feels so heavy once you're out into it. I wish I could go back and relive the moments where the world seemed so full of possibilities. I will always value the place in my memories, after I knew my college was payed for, and before I actually had to go. It sounds silly, and childish, and selfish, but those are memories I believe I will always treasure above all else. Recently I was asked when the time I remember being the happiest was, and I answered last summer. I now clearly understand why.
The world is a much scarier place than I originally believed it to be.
Not to say I'm not looking ahead, because I am... I want to get back to that place where I don't have to worry so much and life doesn't seem like such a heavy burden... I believe I'll get there...
One day.
"All the small things
Truth care, truth brings
I'll take one lift
Your ride, best trip
Always I know
You'll be at my show
Watching, Waiting
Comiserating
Say it ain't so
I will not go
Turn the lights off
Carry me home
Late night, Come home
Work sucks, I know
She left me roses by the stairs
Surprises let me know she cares
Say it ain't so
I will not go
Turn the lights off
Carry me home
Keep your head still
I'll be your thrill
The night will go on
My Little windmill"
Love this girl. I didn't know you were on blog spot. :) So am I. Time has flown hasn't it? At this time next year, we will be half way through college. As we go on, we remember, all the times we had together. And as our lives change, come whatever, we will still be friends forever. <3
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